I was 6 years old…

That was the first time i remember myself being fat. It’s like a vivid dream but it’s all reality. We were sitting down for dinner. I sat across from ym brother and my parents sat on the ends of the table. My mom made chicken curry. The smell of the spices just made my mouth water with anticipation. My mom took a scoop of the white pearly grains of rice and plopped it onto my plate. It was like a mini mountain. I looked at its marvelous dome shape. My mom then crushed my mound of rice with a ladle of curry goodness; creating a pool of re-orange liquid in the center of the white mound. She placed a leg and a wing on my plate. I remember finishing my plate and asking for seconds. My mom happily obliged and place some more of that tasty curry on my plate. Another mound turned into a pool of reddish-orange love, and a couple more pieces of chicken. As the tummy’s got full, mine still felt a bit empty. My dad got up from the table, followed by my brother and mom to go watch TV or do whatever they did back in the day. But I stayed behind. I wanted more. MORE FOOD FOR ME!

I looked at the table. Still the pots were full of the curry with the chicken floating around, mocking me, tempting me to eat one more plate. The rice…the evil carb filled rice. Dancing around the bowl showing off its glistening white grains. I took another scoop of rice and a another ladle of curry sauce and a couple..er few more pieces of chicken and ate it. I sat there shoving food into my mouth trying to satisfy my hunger. I looked like some bourgeois spoiled brat just grabbing and stuffing my mouth full of food.

After my stomach begged me to stop, I wobbled away from the table. Feeling bloated and just tired. I went to sleep. I took a nap. All that eating takes a lot out of a person, especially a person as young as I was. When I got up from my nap I felt my stomach and I felt like it grew. I mean it did. I ate like pig, but i mean the stomach felt huge. At that very moment, I realized I needed to lose weight. As, young as 6 years old, I knew it was bad to be fat. My parents never said anything about being over weight or what have you. I think I just had this natural instinct that girls could not be fat.

I jumped on our exercise bike and started pedaling. I pedaled to no where very fast. I must have rode that thing for like 30 minutes. Even after I got off, I felt like I was still enormous. Nothing I did made my new bigger stomach go away. Til this day, I still think I see that stomach…underneath the 24 years of added stomach.

And that was the first time I knew I had lost my first battle against food. It’s pretty disturbing when you can actually recall the day and the feeling of when you knew you got fat. Granted I probably wasn’t fat that day, it was just something psychological that hit me that day. and through the years of my battle of weight loss and gain my size just increased and that days just seems like the day it all started.

That day was my Big Bang Theory.