Now I am not against procedures like this, but at such an early age I still think there is time to break such a horrible eating lifestyle. It just can’t be left up to the child. It needs to be enforced by the parents and reinforced by the schools. But the school are enticed by money thrown at them from the junk food industry. Again, it is not entirely the fault of junk foods, and parents, the school, advertising. It does come down to personal responsibility. People need to accept responsibility for what they put in their mouths and the exercise they do or not do.  If they don’t then they have no one else to blame but themselves.

Did my parents eat fatty and sugary foods while growing up? Yes. Well, my dad did. My mom grew up in the Philippines. She didn’t come from a rich family so they mostly ate fish and rice. They didn’t own a car so they walked everywhere. My dad who grew up outside of Pittsburgh ate candies and soda pop of course, but he did have to walk to the other side of town to go to school. And unlike today how we have all this media interference with TV, computers, game consoles, my dad actually had to go outside and play for entertainment. Today our kids are picked up right in front of our house, brought to school where they sit for the majority of the day, then come back home and get back on the computer to chat with their friends on facebook or tweet their day on twitter. According to the documentary, when the No Child Left Behind act went into effect, programs like gym class or extra curricular activities like sports were the first be cut in order to get the children to pass their year.  The government saw physical education as a non-importance when in actuality gym class may be the only exercise out children are getting.

When my mom grew up she was thin. Healthy and thin. When she met my dad she was 90lbs at 19 years old. she is only 5’1. When my mom had my brother she gained 90lbs and hit 180. she lost alot of weight like 50 lbs then she had me. She I was born she was around 150lbs.  My mom was heavier. Considered overweight but not by alot. She was healthy. But as she stayed in the State longer and longer her weight ballooned up to 225-230lbs.  The food that we have here is IMMENSE. Sugary and Fatty goodness. Right now she is suffering from Type II diabetes, high blood pressure, and arthritis due to her weight.

The documentary also touches on the subject of the rise in Type II diabetes in our children today. This is an epidemic because this will lead to greater health risks in the future which will lead to higher health insurance costs ( and we all know about the health insurance fiasco here in America). The one problem i Have with this is that there are people and organizations that make being Fat/Obese is ok and should be accepted. Organizations like  The NAAFA http://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/ make it seem like it is OK to be Obese. It is not. Its not healthy. Of course people can say you can still be healthy if they are overweight, but the acceptance of people being morbidly obese should not be accepted. It should be discouraged to ever get that big. I think people should accept people no matter what the size, color, culture, sexuality, etc., but they should never encourage or accept an unhealthy lifestyle.

In America we have labeled the body in weight terms. It is sad that we have to keep adding heavier weight labels as the years go on and the waistline expands. We have skinny, thin, normal, overweight, fat, obese, morbidly obese,  super obese, and now super super obese. This is just disgusting. We should not be adding more adjectives and medical terms for the heavier weight that we in America are getting to. It should be stop, discouraged, and people need to realize that it is no ones else’s fault but the person who puts the food in their mouth. People need to stop using the excuses of eating Healthy is too much money, I have no time to exercise, fast food is just easier. Take a minute to prioritize your life. Put your health and your families health first. Take initiative to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day (walk the dog, dance, clean the house, etc). If you eat fast food, don’t do it everyday. One normal value meal can have up a WHOLE days worth of caloric intake. about 1800 calories a value meal. if you are going to eat a value meal eat a child’s meal because a kids meal is a NORMAL portion for an ADULT…not a child. It’s all about moderation. Yes you can have a slice of cake, but realize you need to exercise to work off those calories. We also need to realize our portion control. Fast food joints and restaurants in general do not give you the correct amount of portion. They over portion your food because we as a people want more for our money.  But Portion control and regular exercise is a great way to help combat this epidemic. Here are two websites that I found very informative & helpful; Portion Plate and Portion Size.

This epidemic needs to be taken more seriously and we all need to take responsibility for ourselves and what we put in our mouths. If you have Netflix you can watch this documentary right on your computer.

My BMI was over 50, I am now at 34. Still considered obese but I am losing more and more each week. I’m not saying I want to be the thinnest or even supermodel like. That would be nice, but I like to eat still.

Still, no matter how comfortable Gabourey is, this size at such a young age is only cutting her age expectancy shorter and giving her a higher risk of health diseases. Not to mention IF she would have won the Oscar, I bet she would not have had another acting job because Hollywood and society are obsessed with the physical. She may get the Type casting job “big black woman to act like Madea”. I hope it doesn’t come to that, because she is a talent. A natural Talent that deserves many acting opportunities.  She seems like a beautiful person but she needs to get to a healthy weight for her own health and for any possibility of working in Hollywood.

I saw this preview on ABC during the Oscars, the Naked Chef, Jamie Oliver is doing a show called Food Revolution and it is about him coming to America to basically show us how horrible we eat and how unhealthy it is because apparently this generation of kids will be the first generation that has a shorter life expectancy because of America’s weight crisis. Many of the kids didn’t even know what a potato was/is. Here is the link to the show which will premier March 26 @ 9pm est.

Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution

It is all about discipline and finding what you like to eat and how you can incorporate that into a healthier way of living. There is no trick diet. Sure you can have help with supplements but you can’t solely rely on them to make you thinner. It will always be eating healthier and moving one’s fat ass. This article Is a great way to figure out where one can find the right type of diet for themselves. The article has great links that can start you off in the right direction.

But I think what we all have to do is get around that negative link the word diet has to itself. We can’t think of dieting as evil, but a way to live and live better. So what I am doing, is

1. Write in this blog as a way to see what and how i progress.
2. do a calorie count diet – try to stay under 1500 calories a day along with my atkins style meal plan
3. Take my lunch to work each day – cheaper and I know what was put into the dishes.
4. Exercise each day for at LEAST 15 minutes on the bike if I can’t walk for 45 (weather is crappy this time of the year)
5. Watch what I put in my mouth, take responsibility for what goes in.
6. Keep saying my mantra “It’s for my brother”
7. DRINK WATER – cut out soda lose a lot of weight

Now I think that is enough for the list, too many on a list you tend to forget or give up. It’s just called keep it simple. Find the type of meal/diet plan that is easy to stick to and I think not only me but everyone can be successful.

Excerpt from the article

Ask yourself		Consider the following	Resources
Do you want to develop some healthy lifelong eating patterns, plus good physical activity and stress-management patterns?		You may need a plan that focuses on behavioral or lifestyle changes.	• French Women Don’t Get Fat byMireille Guiliano • Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole • Best Life Diet by Bob Greene • You: On a Diet by Michael Roizen and Mehmet Oz
Do you enjoy breads and other carbohydrates and have a hard time cutting back on them?		You may enjoy a plan that includes whole grains, rice, pasta, breads and lots of vegetables and fruits	• TheMediterranean diet pyramid • Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) Diet • MyPyramid.gov
Do you prefer fish and lean meats more than breads or pasta?		A plan that modifies the amounts of proteins and fats in ways that favor your food preferences may work well for you	• Secrets of Good Carb/Low Carb Living by Sandra Woodruff • The South Beach Diet by Arthur Agatston • Atkins’ New Diet Revolutionby Robert Atkins
Do you find it easy to substitute a beverage, such as a smoothie, for a meal?		You may enjoy and be able to have a meal replacement at noon time	• Slim-Fast plan
Do you dislike cooking or find it difficult to prepare meals?		Temporarily using commercially prepared meals until you can develop some quick prep techniques	• NutriSystem • Jenny Craig • Weight Watchers
Do you want a plan that provides occasional treats or wine?		A plan that is based on food groupings or exchange systems for may work well for you	• Weight Watchers • Eat, Drink, and Weigh Less by Walter Willett and Mollie Katzen
Do you enjoy preparing and eating some savory and filling “soup or one-pot” dishes with different foods?		Try a plan that emphasizes meals and dishes with volume and fiber that are filling but lower in calories	• TheVolumetricsWeight-Control Plan by Barbara Rolls and Robert Barnett
Does having a diet or record-tracking system, buddy or friend to provide encouragement make it easier to stay on your diet?		A plan that includes keeping food records or a support and check-in system would work well for you.	• Fat is Not Your Fate (records) by Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie • Weight Watchers (supports) •sparkpeople.com(records and supports)
Do you like trying different ethnic cuisines as part of your regular meals?		All ethnic cuisines have some healthy choices you can enjoy	• Asian diet pyramid • Latin American pyramid • Mediterranean diet pyramid
Do you like to emphasize less refined foods and like a large variety of colorful fruits and vegetables?		The plans that include many different colors tend to have a wide variety of nutrients and be healthy	• Eat, Drink, and Weigh Less by Walter Willett and Mollie Katzen • DASH • Vegan diet • Mediterranean diet

Here is the article which I found interesting. ATKINS ARTICLE

Dieting is more than just saying you are. One needs to actually change their way of thinking about food. If it means educating yourself, then do it. I have a friend who is a raw food enthusiast. She lost a lot of weight and is completely healthy. I wish I can take her approach, but sadly, I love my meat and cooked food too much. I’m not saying I wouldn’t try some of her food, but I won’t give up my food. She did however send me over some great vegetarian cookbooks. very informative and great when you just don’t feel like eating meat. Which one some days, I don’t. But I don’t want carbs. So this is a great way on educating myself on how to live with food not live for food.

I know there are people with eating disorders and some people just can’t help the way they eat or how much they eat. But I truly wonder if my parents and parents after them got their kids into better eating habits and told them to go outside more and play instead of sitting us down in front of the mechanical babysitter (tv) if we would have gotten so big. But this post isn’t bashing my parents or whatever, because it was me that decided to put the food in my mouth. It was me who decided to eat so much when depressed, it was me who got myself into this dismal hole of solitude and self hate.

But I recognize that now. I know that I can’t keep blaming other people or society when it really isn’t their fault. Yes the ideal hurts when you aren’t the ideal and never will be the standard of ideal beauty. But you know what? Not many people are the standard of beauty anyway. I understand that. I accept that. But now I know I must do the work to make myself feel as beautiful as I can feel and put myself into just one version of standard society beauty.

We may say we don’t want to be what society says, but when you feel like an outcast, you want and do everything you can to at least be accepted in some minuscule way in society. So the past 2 years is me finally accepting responsibility of my life. All the good, and All the bad. I may not be able to control any outside forces, but I can control how I deal with those forces.

If I choose to eat that cake, It will be my fault if I cant the weight. I can choose to put it down. I can choose to eat fruit instead. I can choose to live a better, healthier life. Sure I know i will falter. I am human after all, but it’s really about how you get back up and deal with what just happened.

This doesn’t only apply to my dieting, but life in general. I think there are too many people today that feel they are entitled to certain aspects of life when they have not done a single thing to earn it. A lot of people will blame those outside forces, but instead of dealing with the problem, they will whine until something is given to them to make them shut up. American society today is a lot like that. If we complain enough society will give us a pacifier to shut up. Instead of encouraging people to take responsibility for their lives, we encourage them to be beggars, to become complacent and apathetic in trying to succeed.

We tell children to be successful but fail to tell them you actually need to work for what you want. In doing this they grow up feeling they have sort of entitlement. The will say things like “Hey I should be able to have that big house or new job, because I am what I am and you need to give because of who I am”.

People need to understand no one is ENTITLED to anything. Albeit a nice comfortable life, job, a house, health care, beauty, or freedom. These things you need to work for and stop relying on those that are working and trying to make a living. It is not my responsibility to make some other person’s life better. It is MY responsibility to make MY life and my FAMILIES better.

So this is me. Making my life better by being healthy and trying to help my brother out by making his life better by giving him a kidney. I accept what I am doing and all the risks that come with it. But in no way to I ever expect anyone that I do not know and is not family to take care of me or tell me how to live my life. That is my job. That is my responsibility.

Lately, I’ve been hating my reflection. Again yes I AM SMALLER. but I’m stuck in this body that hasn’t changed in like 8 months or so. However, some asshole who KNOWS that I have had the surgery feel it in there infinite wisdom to say something has moronic to me as “have you gained weight?” SERIOUSLY! Are you that fucking stupid to say something like that to someone that has BATTLED WEIGHT PROBLEMS? I have wavered between 215 and 225ish for the past 8ish months. I still wear the same size and in some cases even can wear a size smaller. But with this comment, every time I see my reflection in a mirror or a store window or a really shiny waxed car, I do that ceremonial turn to the side to see if I look fatter. I hate that feeling. And I tell myself, “No don’t look! You’ll just feel like shit.” but I give in and have to look. I squeeze my hips smaller, suck in the stomach, push in my pooch, Clench my ass cheeks. YAY I LOOK THINNER…with help. But then i let out the air because I can’t breath, unclench the ass, unsqueeze the hips, and back to my normal jiggly self.

Am I happy with the jiggle? No. I want to be firm and tight. But that will NEVER happen naturally unless I have surgery. So I will just have to be great friends with girdles and undergarments that are great and sucking in and tucking and lifting. But I am aware that the more weight I lose. The more saggy I will get, therefore I may look heavier than I am because of the loose skin.

Maybe one day I can get my tummy tuck. I would be willing to suffer the pain. But until then, I will try to avoid full length mirrors or store windows or real shiny cars. I just need my trust compact mirror to do my makeup, since, I only really like the size and shape of my head. LOL

Anyway here is the result from the Meme:

But When I saw my weight, I freaked and started working out. I jumped on my bike did 5 minutes of intense non stop speed pedaling, then I did arm weights, crunches, and karate kicks. After about 30 minutes, I loss .6 lbs.

I was happy. I saw I can lose the weight. So I am doing my Detox like thing. I will not have any soda. Ill have tea with zero calorie sweetener, water, and at fruit juice. I will not have any fried food. Only baked. But I will load up on veggies, fruit, and nuts. I will have occasional meat but I need to cut back on it. And I definitely need to stop the BACON….OH SWEET JESUS I LOVE BACON!! but I must stop fat. and HELLO Fat meet Bacon, Bacon meet Fat. Bacon and fat solidify yourselves onto my thighs, ass, and stomach.

Wednesday nights will be hard for me though. I have bowling on that day. And if people know bowling alleys, they know they aren’t known for healthy foods. So I may just bring another salad to the bowling alley. Who knows, I may be “shittin’ twigs” as my dad calls it by the time I lose 25lbs.  I just have to keep saying my mantra “It’s for my brother”.

I was amazed how much my cravings went away after I said that mantra…A FEW HUNDRED TIMES. No really I only had to say it a few times before my will kicked in and I stopped myself from eating. I will check my weight on Sunday, to see where I end up.

But Good luck to all those that are struggling with the weight problem I have been struggling with since I was 6 years old.

And thanks for reading. I will try …REALLY try to update everyday.

]]> http://theprettyface.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/salads-galore/feed/ 0 Non-Essential Fatty fat http://theprettyface.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/looking-back/ http://theprettyface.wordpress.com/2010/02/24/looking-back/#comments Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:25:07 +0000 Dee Dee http://theprettyface.wordpress.com/?p=112 ]]> at how I used to be, I still feel I am the same. I may look 1000 times different but i still feel the same way. I still act the same way, and I still seclude myself away from people. Sure when I want to be around them I do my couple days worth and I’m peopled out for about a couple months or so. It really is hard to break the “fat” mentality. But it’s not jsut the fact that I still have that mentality, I think it also comes down to me feeling happy with my self worth.

I go through long phases of re-evaluating my worth to the world. People that I know don’t really know I feel or think these thoughts. Not even my best friend of 10 years knows I feel this way or think this way. I suppose it sort of a feeling of being ashamed that I think about myself this way because I have this whole different persona in front of people. People see me as strong willed, speak my mind, a comedian, an airhead, but they don’t really know me. I’m not sure if it’s because we are a family that doesn’t talk about our feelings or if it’s something we aren’t supposed to tell people we know for a fear of persecution or looks that they may give you.  I mean damn, if people knew what i thought or felt they might call the men with the white jacket to come get me and evaluate my emotional stability.

My family doesn’t talk about a lot of issues. We have this unspoken acknowledgment of what is going on around us. We don’t want to really know how people feel, but we know how they feel without asking so there is no need to talk. It may be because my dad grew up back in the old steel towns in the mountains and men were men and grew up to hold down their feelings because if you shared it was considered feminine. Or maybe it was because my dad was a navy man. He has that military mentality. Or it’s a combination of the two.

My mom is fro the Philippines. She is one of 9 children who all left home at the age of 13 or 14. My mom told me her story of when she left home. She was 13 and left to work for a Chinese family. She was their maid. However, not until a few years ago did she ever give me the full details of how and why she left home. It’s too painful for her to talk about so when she does talk, one can’t help but cry. Like many children of that era (1950′s-70′s), they left home to work. To help support the family. But what my mom finally told me was that her mother in a sense sold her into service. Her mom had 9 children and her dad was just a fisherman. It was hard to feed a family that big, so my mom was pretty much told, you have to go to work. So her mom sold her into service for so many years. The money was given upfront to the her family and my mom left to go work.  She was “paid” with shelter and food. But the shelter was the under the kitchen table and slept on a mat of like bamboo and newspaper.  There were rats and of course the other maids would sometimes steal from her. My mom lived like this for about a 4-5 years. The only reason she left was because my mom wrote a letter to her sister, who married into money, to her to come and get my mom. My mom was ashamed at what she became so that is why she never asked for her “rich” sister to come get her.  But my mom at the time had come down with a horrible bladder infection and her vaginal area had become infected. When my aunt came down from Manila to get my mom, she arrived at the door, paid off my mom’s debt to the family and took her to Manila to basically work it off there. But at least she was family and she did get paid money. My mom was a waitress and also was a go-go dancer. That is how she met my dad. He ported there with the Navy for 2 years, met my mom and married her. When they married they moved here and since that time my mom has not seen her family. It has been over  34 years since she has seen anyone. It’s just too expensive and basically everyone has just spread out. So all my mom has is me, my brother, and my dad. Of course my dad’s extended but as for family, family…it’s just us.

We were never a family of wealth. We lived on $700/month for so many years when my dad was in the Navy, but we never lived like it. MY mom and dad knew how to make us never feel hungry. But after that, my dad got a great job. He made like $70K/year from the 80′s-90′s which was great until he got laid off. He got laid off in the end of 1996-1997 when Clinton started closing down all the military bases. When that happened we started to struggle financially. We have been struggling ever since. Since 2000 we have had 2 houses foreclosed, evicted from one place we rented (only lived there for like 5 months), and struggle to pay our bills.

I think this is the time where my weight really got out of control. Whenever there was stress, i took refuge in food. and boy did I ever take refuge. At the end of high school I was 227 (1996).  At my heaviest which was on January 26th(ish) 2008 I weighed 339. Now I am back down to 220ish. But I still have a long ways to go. It is a struggle, but I’m doing it for my brother mostly.

Now here is the part I have never told my parents, friends, or best friend, Yes I am doing it for him, because in the back of my mind, I feel his life is worth more than mine. I look at what he has been through, and no matter hwo horrible his life is with dialysis he doesn’t complain. He lives it to the fullest. He has plans for the future. While I don’t. I don’t think I’ll ever get married. I don’t think I’ll ever have a boyfriend that is up to par of what I want in a man, nor do I feel I am worthy of one. I feel like all I am supposed to do with this life, is just work and support my family financially. My brother is a waiter until he gets a kidney and graduates from college, my mom and dad both disabled and on Social Security. I am the only one working a real job, and am here to pay the bills. This leaves me no money to do what I want to do. I can’t be social because I can’t afford it. I feel horrible about trying to find a boyfriend because I still LIVE at HOME. Not my choice but because I am the supporter. I am supporting the family I was born into not a family i gave BIRTH too. I mean I want to have a child, but what man wants a woman that isn’t independent in the normal societal terms? So my only choice is to have artificial insemination. I feel so embarrassed. I am one of those women that will use the excuse “career was first for so long that now I am left to get pregnant by this” way. It’s all code, for I’m a freaking loser that no one wants me so I will have a baby that I will never know who the father is nor will my baby.

So when I think of this and re-evaluate my life, I see my brother as having this great potential that I never will attain at. I feel that my purpose it so support then give life to my brother. So I don’t fear death at surgery. If it happens, I will be giving life to him, and to others. I am an organ donor, and if this is the only way I can give life, then so be it. DO I want to die,?of course not. Do I accept that this may be my purpose? Yes. But do I talk about how I feel to my family and friends? No.

I just feel more comfortable letting the millions and millions of unknown people in the virtual world know how I feel and maybe the handful that decide to stop on my blog to read.